Shame

Shame on you

Caught! Exposed! Found Out!

Shame wraps its tail around a person with such swiftness, that before they have a chance to fight or run, their throat tightness, heart quickens and eyes seek asylum towards the ground.

There is no refuge; shame is like a cancer, it loiters inside you, like a hungry dog until it is fueled with hateful self–talk or releases on to others through blaming and shaming them.

Nothing compares to the feeling of shame, when exposed, other people see through the veil of your protection, the veil used to endorse your okayness.

Before shame you walked around head held high, full of yourself, flawless and convincing until shame, then it all unraveled, like a mummy losing its wraps exposing a petrified body.

After shame, much of your time is used bracing against any reminder of what caused the shame in the first place.

It creates a secret life that screams out, please talk, and share what happened, because we are human too.

We all have flaws, our vulnerabilities and nakedness is the real deal, while endless pursuit of bravado is a farce.

Interestingly the shield you carefully carried for protection is the very thing that destroyed the person you aspire to defend, which is you.

There is no shame in talking about shame, the shame is leaving it unspoken.

 

Recipe: Facing Shame Meditation

First, learn the physical symptoms of shame, this way you recognise shame.

Dry mouth, heart racing, tunnel vision, hot flush, perspiring, and eye avoidance

Once identifying the physical symptoms you can explore the triggers.

What event elicited this feeling of shame?

During meditation, sit with the discomfort of shame; breathe through the waves of uneasiness.

Use your body as a means to heal your shame.

If shame is not addressed, it can wreak havoc on your self-worth, authentic self, social life, and mood, manifesting unhealthy behaviors such as, perfectionism and avoidance.

Close your eyes, breathe through the shame and breathe out the disparaging thoughts.

Repeat to yourself, “ I am human” “ I am imperfect” “I am lovable” “ I am worthy” “I am okay”

2 Comments

  • Christina Seguine says:

    Wow, this was a very powerful piece for me! Some of those “repeat to yourself” words are still hard, even to say in my own head. My heart is pounding from reading this with all that it brought up, but the way I handle it is a million times better, I promise,

  • Rebecca Jane says:

    Yes, it is a powerful piece, my heart was racing as I wrote this. Repeat the words, even if difficult eventually they will feel natural. So lovely to hear from you!

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