Sitting with what?
Sitting with your shit.
Why would you ever choose to sit in your own muck, when sidestepping it would be so much sweeter?
Sitting in it, as perverse as it might sound; is the critical step to getting to know who the hell you are, how you tick, what makes you happy.
Sitting with it, removes the swaggering know it allness, having it all togetherness, eliminating the veneer you project to the world.
Knowing yourself is far greater than what you have been exposed to throughout your life; there is a depth that seeps beyond the outer world, sitting with your own dirt allows you to enter the heart of you.
It is a tirelessly, arduous journey getting to know yourself, there are neither: guidelines to follow nor mentors to seek out. It is a lonely business.
What happens to most of us is we delude ourselves into believing we know who we are, we can speak openly about our peculiarities, believing that is us.
But are our eccentricities who we are, or is there more that waits to be realized?
Perhaps, the other question is, is it worth the effort, can we continue on living deluded? Not an easy question to answer, until you have actually gotten to the space of knowing who you are, or at least close to it.
If you choose to make the effort, where do you begin?
Begin with being brutally honest, no lies, or defensive posturing, put all your cards on the table. Start with the truth, genuine feelings, not I should or shouldn’t feel that way or this way, or something is wrong that I feel this way.
As I like to say you need to sit in your own shit, sit with it all, your own messy head with its fears, delusions, saboteurs, the head that appears to be conspiring against your happiness.
It will at first feel crappy, though the beauty of it, it is yours, no one can take that from you.
Once you have sat there for a while, it begins to become too uncomfortable, there comes that moment when you have had enough and it needs to be cleaned up. You won’t know what you need to clean up until you have sat in it for yourself.
From that point onwards you systematically remove the mess, you are able do this because you now know what the mess consists of, it is right there in front, under and on the sides of you. You see your shit for what it is.
Cleaning up takes time, especially as most of us have things that we never knew existed until you sat down on top of it.
Do it methodologically, eliminate things one at a time, gradually remove the things you no longer want, those things that are destructive and toxic, creating space for things that bring joy and peace.
Getting to know yourself, is not a clean process, it starts out messy, it takes time and patience. It is indeed a crappy job, but when you begin to eradicate the negative, space opens up for the you which is serene content, relaxed, loving… then the effort is all worth it.
Sit with it as the first step to creating happiness.
Recipe: Sitting with it meditation
Take few moments to settle into a comfortable seat.
Close your eyes, or look towards the ground with a soft gaze (eyes slightly closed)
Take 3 deep breath, or as many breaths until your mind and body calms down
Then begin to sit with whatever feelings are coming up for you, do not push away the uncomfortable crappy feelings
Breathe in, say “sit”, Breathe out, say, “it”
Sit with it, keep sitting with it and watch it as an observer, not a participant.
Be curious and kind to yourself, because we all have shit to deal with.
After 5 – 10 mins, return to your breath and invite calm into your body.
Open your eyes when ready.
Take few minutes to assimilate the meditation on a physical and emotional level, then get on with your day.
Be patient and kind while sitting with it.
Remember everyone has it, you are not alone.